To
His Majesty, the King:
Sire,
it's not like I don't have enough on my mind already, you know. Between the
hobgoblins, the Giants' Guild, and the Turkish assassin ring, my hands are full
to overflowing. Not that I'm complaining, your Majesty.
Faithfully
etc.
Oz.
------------
To
Oswald, Baron of Little Much, Head of His Majesty's Secret Service:
My
dear Oz,
It's
just that she's so charming and I'm beginning to miss her rather dreadfully.
Oh, be a sport, Ozzy! I'm sure that your Second (what's his name-Sir Rampant?)
can take over your projects while you go out looking for her.
I
never should have invited that cad, Gregor to court. I should have known he
would have fallen in love with my dear Prudence and spirited her away. These
black magicians have no sense of decorum!
Anyway,
it's most likely that you'll find Prue on his island fortress. What's it called
again? Death Island, or Skull Island. Something like that. Good luck!
Henry
Rex.
PS:
Do kill the blackguard, if you can; there's a good fellow!
-------------------
Your
Majesty,
I
am leaving Rampant with clear instructions on dealing with the Hobgoblins,
Giants, and Assassins, but knowing him, he'll try to engineer a coup in the
Service before I'm gone an hour. I don't trust him and you shouldn't either,
Henry. Honestly, why did you put Prudence's brother in such a position of
responsibility? I don't trust anyone of the Queen's family as far as I can
throw them.
Oz
--------------
Ozzy,
old man,
You
worry too much. I quite realize that Rampant (what a ludicrous name!) is not to
be trusted, but you know how persuasive my Queen can be! I need her, Oz. She is
my Juliet, my East, my honey-tongued Scheherazade! You've got to rescue her. Take your fastest flying horse! I'm counting on
you!
H.R.
PS:
When you kill Gregor, don't forget to make it lingering and painful!
-------
Henry:
Has
it occurred to you that this is the seventh time that your Queen has been in need
of rescuing? Far be it from me to impinge a lady's honour, but.
Oz
--------
Oz:
But
what? But what? Exactly what are you driving at, my loyal Baron? Prue loves me!
She says it to me every day. Except, of course, when she's feeling blue or out
of sorts. Rescue her! Leave now! No more terse little notes.
Henry
Rex, Lawful Monarch and King by Divine Right.
------=-------
Henry,
I can't
believe you're playing the Divine Right card with an old friend like me. That's
cold, Your Majesty. Remember when I rescued you from the Black Knight when he
ambushed you when you were only a callow prince. Remember how I uncovered the
nest of baby thieving ghouls who had designs on you in the crib. Look, I'm not
even going to mention your stag.
Oz (your
oldest and most faithful friend)
-----------
Oz:
You're killing
me. I'm sorry for pulling my God-given status on you but you know how it is. I
just want my angel back! Have a heart, oldest and truest friend! I beg you to
go and bring her back.
Hank.
----------
Hank,
I know
this is going to sound like I'm just making excuses not to go after your Queen
but my flying horse has a bad case of the shivering withers. I suspect the
Hobgoblins have a hand in it. The horse witch that I'm consulting assures me
that she should be flight worthy after a short course of medicinal herbs.
"Give it a week or two but not three," were her exact words.
Oz
========
Oz,
You're
killing me! Why not just take the royal barge?
Hank.
++++++
Hank,
I have
an issue with sea-sickness. Really.
Oz
++++++++++++
Oz,
She's
back! Turns out that she stowed away on the magician's boat, "for a
lark"! She was just feeling her oats and seeing if I still loved her! What
a woman!
Hank
____________
Hank,
What a
woman, indeed.
Oz.
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